Forever

They were colleagues. Yes, that was it. Colleagues - friends, yes.

He called Alan by just his name, and Alan called him just Eric, and that seemed to be just fine.

He started thinking of Alan more and more - after all, the more petite shinigami didn't have much time. Each attack of the Thorns of Death left him weaker, which made him more susceptible to future attacks, which meant he was running out of time.

Eric hadn't known shinigami could die.

But Alan had come to him, once they had passed their final exams - after the incident - and had shut the door, had sat down on the bed and cried.

He told Eric the news, just as he himself had been told.

They were friends, weren't they? Friends could confess to you when no one else was around to see, to judge. Friends could lean into you and cry.

But when Eric was alone, and thinking of Alan, they were something more.

His brown hair.

His smile.

His wide eyes, so fill of pride and sadness and pain.

He wanted to share Alan's pain. He wanted to be able to take it away; he was the reckless one, Alan had done nothing to deserve such a condition, it should have been him, should have been him -

He would do anything.

"Hey, Eric..."

"Hrm?"

"You shouldn't be around me so much. I mean... what will you do when I'm gone?"

"...don't talk like that."

They didn't have forever anymore.

Yet he insisted on spending as much time with his brunette partner as possible. He knew the whispers that went around the office, the looks that the other shinigami threw him; a mixture of fear of Alan's condition, and mocking laughter in their eyes.

But he didn't want to be lonely anymore.

No. He would tell Alan.

-

Eric wondered if Alan's confession that he was dying was any easier than this.

At least with dying of the Thorns of Death, he hadn't had to worry of dying of embarrassment.

"Alan... I have something to tell you." His voice sounded hollow, awkward in the space between them.

The brunette looked up from his books.

"...can you look at me? It's sorta important."

He turned away from the books, turning instead to look at Eric, peridot eyes looking into emerald.

Eric fidgeted. He couldn't help it.

He could lose a lot with this, but at the same time -

At the same time, they didn't have forever.

"Um... we've been friends now for awhile, right?"

"I suppose that's right." Alan quirked an eyebrow.

God, he was terrible at this. "It's just..."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong." How could he even say it? He had spent the last month trying to think of a good way to bring it up, to say the words, but now there was just silence.

When you die, I'll kiss your cheek only once...

Impulsively he pulled Alan closer, and kissed him.

It was a decidedly odd feeling. Eric had kissed girls before but this was different - Alan's mouth caught in a surprised 'oh' and it was soft underneath his lips. It was the little things that were different - this was a different type of softness, a different type of tension.

But Alan did not push him away.

The kiss was short, but still Eric drew back, heat rising in his face.

"Why do you think I've been hanging around so much?" he said, hand tousling his hair, emerald eyes suddenly finding the floor very interesting. "I, uh..."

"You like me."

"...yeah, guess you could put it that way." But he strained to hear anything in Alan's voice - but to him, Alan's voice sounded flat, dazed, a little tired.

This was definitely not how it was supposed to be.

"I... I can go now, if you want," he offered, standing up, getting off of the bed. As comfortable as it was, it was still Alan's bed, and after that kiss, it just seemed wrong.

Alan was in shock, that's what it was.

And he was in shock and now he was going to be angry and Eric couldn't stand it, even though he could stay and take it like a man he had just kissed him, had just -

"-no."

The frenzy of thoughts stopped. "Bwuh?"

Alan reached out for him. "I want you to stay, Eric."

Emerald eyes widened.

"...I hadn't expected you to kiss me, though." A small laugh. "I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Uh..."

"...so do it again. Or I could kiss you, how does that sound?"

"I... I'd like that."

They didn't have forever, but they had now, and as Eric found himself easing into another kiss he decided now was just fine.